Outdoor Wedding Cautionary Tales

After officiating weddings for two decades, I have developed some strong suggestions for couples to consider.

When I got married, I ignored my #1 suggestion: Do not get married outdoors.

I totally understand the allure. I have done many weddings outdoors. I watched couples stress and hope, even pray, that somehow everything will work out just fine. Unfortunately, the outdoors can be very unpredictable. If you do have an outdoor wedding, it is important to prepare in the ways you can. And to have reasonable expectations.

My wedding was on a remote beach in Olympic National Park. Despite it being a July wedding, the winds picked up, and we barely have a picture with our hair in place! That said, it was such a beautiful setting, I wouldn’t have changed a thing, but my Mom, on the other hand, still kvetches to this day.

Here are some cautionary tales* to consider before trusting your most important day to Mother Nature.

7. The Windy Wedding

It was heartbreaking; this wonderful couple had planned their March wedding with friends and family, but when we learned about the pandemic, we reduced the wedding to just family and moved it outdoors. That Sunday morning was cold and windy. I stood between the park fountain and the couple. By the end of the wedding, my back was drenched with cold water as the wind became blustery.

At the end of the wedding, a windy gust blew the glass kiddush cup off the table, luckily causing only a reparable break. All in all, there was so much joy, in a time of anxiety and fear that the memories are all wonderful.

We held a second larger wedding when it was safer to do so, but this time they chose to celebrate indoors.

6. The Bee Sting

One of my first weddings was in the middle of a rural farm. Halfway through the wedding, a bee landed on the groom’s neck. He swatted it away without looking. The bee stung him on the neck. The bride was allergic to bees, which I only discovered after the ceremony. Without an EpiPen, it would have been scary. We were so fortunate that the groom took the sting.

Lesson learned, come prepared for an outdoor wedding.

5. The Mud Pit

Friends of mine, two women, had their wedding at an outdoor retreat center. It had rained all night before the wedding. There was a beautiful outdoor amphitheater, but the trail for all of us to get there was filled with mud. At a certain point, we all had to let go of the idea that we would not dirty our dress clothes. Even one of the brides’ dresses was tinged with mud at the bottom, and the other ditched her shoes, getting married with muddy feet!

Sometimes, we have to adjust. Even if the rain stops, pivoting indoors might be the right decision.

4 . The Cold November

When I learned the couple was planning to have their Thanksgiving Weekend wedding outdoors, I asked them about the cold. They thought Thanksgiving in the south was still a good bet for mild weather. But just in case if it was chilly, they decided that their party favor was going to be handmade Mexican blankets to honor the groom’s heritage. 

When the sun set, the temperature plummeted to 40 degrees. It was beyond chilly! The blankets were all used, but even so, people were so cold they were chattering. Luckily the blankets were beautiful because they hid the couple’s dress clothes during the ceremony. 

While this was an unusually cold November, it is important to remember that November is November and not May.

3. The Interrupting Onlookers

I officiated a destination wedding on the West Coast of Florida, where the couple had chosen a beautiful beach uniquely situated to see the sunrise. The couple figured that their ceremony was so early the beach would be empty. What they did not realize, since it was the only beach in the area to view the sunrise, even at 6 am, it was a busy spot. It was so crowded we had a bit of a challenge securing the space for the chuppah, the wedding canopy.

Once we were situated and underway, a couple stopped their stroll and stood close enough to the couple and me that we could almost touch them. The woman said loudly as I was officiating, “I think this is a wedding! Is that man a rabbi?” Her husband said, “Yes, and that looks like the bride.” They continued to trade observations at a distracting decibel.

I paused and smiled at them, and gently said, “Indeed, this is a wedding that is underway right now. Any advice for a long marriage before I ask you to give us some quiet to continue?” Always be curious and full of wonder?” Go figure, they practiced what they preached. We all had a good laugh!

I suggest using a wedding planner or designated guest to run interference if a wedding is going to be outdoors in a public place--or just hire an officiant quick on their feet. 

2. The Silent Wedding

The couple chose a perfect spot for their 30-person wedding. Outdoors with a short hike to a waterfall. The week before the wedding, there had been heavy rains. Luckily, the area had dried out; however, the cascading falls were more powerful than when they first visited.

I know how to project my voice so the guests can hear me. Disappointingly, I was the only person they could hear. All of the sentimental words the grooms said to one another were missed.

While it is amazing to have a breathtaking backdrop, there is nothing more inspiring that the words and gestures you share as a couple. 

1. The Sweaty Groom

The bride’s family had been in Charleston for generations, and so it was the perfect place for their wedding. The ceremony was outdoors at the Battery, and the reception was blocks away in a hotel ballroom. Charleston in July is steamy. We knew this would be the case, so we planned for the ceremony to be on the shorter side. We held the ketubah (Jewish wedding covenant) signing in Atlanta two days earlier.

When I arrived at the hotel, I was directed to the groom’s suite. There he was with his Marine buddies drinking beer...and bourbon. He agreed with me that he should slow down, but it was too late. I followed their limo in my car as we headed to Battery Park. The temperature had risen to 93 degrees.

While no escaped perspiration in formal clothes in the heat, five into the ceremony, the groom was dripping sweat. As I continued, his sweat became profuse. But, it was when I saw him turn a faint shade of green and begin to sway a bit that I knew I had to speed up the wedding.

Good thing I did because as soon as he finished, he hopped into my car, and I drove him to the hotel as quickly as I could. And just in time. 

Let’s just say midsummer outdoor weddings in Charleston in Marine dress whites don’t mix with bourbon and beer.

Outdoor weddings can be spectacular without a doubt, but they can also be complicated, unpredictable, and cause unneeded stress. If you do choose an outdoor venue, don’t leave things that can be planned to chance!

*Some of the details have been changed to respect the couples’ anonymity.